Kerasotes doesn't care about film artistry or its customers.

I've never visited a movie theater, sat down to see a film, and left before the credits rolled, until tonight. I waited 99 minutes for something funny to happen in Jack Black and Ben Stiller's Envy, searched for excitement in seeing indistinguishable pieces of metal duke it out(?) in Transformers 2, and politely remained quiet as dozens of searing paint-by-numbers romcoms bombarded my palette with insulting predictability, but I couldn't remain seated through Shutter Island. And it's no fault of the film's. I still plan on seeing it sometime in the near future. I left because "independent theatre chain" Kerasotes doesn't care about film artistry.

No sound emanates  from the front-right speaker in theater 15 at Minneapolis, Minnesota's downtown Block E.  Left-center seems fine, and the center channel's more than present, but the front-right's noticeably absent, cutting the soundtrack volume in half and possibly withholding positional sound effects. This is a problem.

When I first told management of the situation on June 19 during my viewing of Transformers 2, I began our conversation with a brief description of my background in audio engineering, production and mixing. After I revealed from which theater I left, guilt filled their faces in milliseconds. It wasn't the response I expected, and I briefly wondered if I had instead spoken some sort of code, revealing to each individual a long-buried secret from his or her past.

After communicating my problem, they immediately apologetically replied with "Yeah....we're sorry about that." I waited for a follow-up response but didn't receive one. I guess it was my turn to talk, so I preached a beautiful sermon on the art of films and the role audio plays, but the congregation didn't care for my gospel. They offered no refund, and I returned to the movie. Normally I would've left, but Ebert's informed opinion, one with which I usually agree, led me to believe making a special trip to another theater would give the film and its provider too much money and attention. Two hours later I agreed with Ebert. Bad sound or good sound, that's a terrible movie.

I battled management a second time in late July when I saw Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in the same theater.

During the film's previews, I noticed the front-right speaker still emanated no audio. I stormed out of the theater and demanded a refund from the same people I spoke to a month earlier. They offered an alternative, and suggested viewing the film in another theater. Since my girlfriend and I were excited to watch the latest shenanigans of Mr. Potter and friends, and had made a day of going out and seeing a movie, I accepted. What happened next insulted my love for cinema and indicated management's attitude towards this obvious problem: manager lady asked me if I wanted to see the last half hour in an adjacent theater and then watch the rest during the next showing.

I won't explain why this is fundamentally wrong. A cuttlefish could grasp the importance of seeing a film from start to finish.

I didn't accept this solution and demanded another. For the next hour my girlfriend and I sat in the theater lobby waiting for the next showing. When it was time, we walked in, saw the movie, and walked out - the way it should be.

Tonight I visited Block E, sat in theater 15, and left fifteen minutes later. The front-right speaker still didn't work. I would've left immediately, but my brother, his girlfriend, and my girlfriend were with me. I weighed viewing the movie under these conditions with my friends and family versus my respect for Mr. Scorcese, Mr. Dicaprio, and everyone else involved in Shutter Island. Mr. Scorcese and company obviously won the battle.

This time I got my money back, all nine dollars and fifty cents, but I will never have the experience of seeing this film with these people for the first time, and that's why I go to the theater with other people. It's all about the communal experience. 

Management's actions speak for the company and the people who run it. They don't care for films beyond pieces of throwaway entertainment, and they really don't care about the viewing experiences of customers a.k.a. job providers a.k.a. the people you fucking take care of. At Kerasotes Block E theater, I didn't feel taken care of, and I definitely don't believe they give a damn about film artistry. If they did, this problem wouldn't have persisted eight months later.

If you've visited this theater between June 2009 and February 2010, please keep in mind that Kerasotes either didn't think you'd notice or didn't think you'd notice enough to complain. You were ripped off, and paid full price for a broken theater. How's that feel? Even more, if you're running a film company or making films, how does it feel to have your work shown in a theater like this one?

Goodbye, Kerasotes. I hope AMC buys you out ASAP.

Edit: I didn't look for it, but oh how I would've loved to see a THX logo outside the theater wall...