Ludic Dreams

OOPS!
Calling attention to gaming's biggest fuck-ups. 

Capcom remains undecided over Super Street Fighter IV rape price.

A recent Super Street Fighter IV-related article at Kotaku reads "Capcom is still debating whether to sell the game for the traditional price of console titles or a lower price, Killian said."

As I've said before, Capcom's so far FUCKED UP to all hell on Street Fighter IV. The game received nary an update, features minimal content compared to competitors, is littered with various grotesquely lopsided matches, and includes some of the worst 2D animation seen in a title this generation, Triple-A title or non. The game rides the fucking nostalgia wave, and we all bite into it, myself included.

We'll all buy SUPER DUPER NEATO Street Fighter IV when it releases next year, no matter the price. Capcom knows this, yet they remain hesitant to drop the inevitable price bomb. Why? They know they'll be in trouble. Has a pre-teen ever approached you, head down, hands behind his or her back, and proceeded to admit something he or she's guilty of? It's like that, but on a corporate level. 

Another theory: Capcom's waiting to see if we pull out of this recession by next year. If we do, they'll charge more. If not, they might charge a little less. 

One last theory: Capcom's checking the title over - making sure it doesn't include any potentially racist content (sup Resident Evil 5?). Somehow, Dee Jay and El Fuerte will remain. Actually, I heard in their double secret ending they both visit Mexico City. El Fuerte makes the best fried chicken in the world for Dee Jay. The government then rules the chicken so good it's illegal, and tries to arrest the duo. After running for hundreds of miles, they jump over the fence and enter the U.S. There, a reformed Abel tries to sell them life insurance. After they refuse, Rufus, now a devout Christian, eats El Fuerte's foot because he's hungry, and threatens to eat the rest unless he buys the most expensive plan from Abel. Dee Jay and El Fuerte give in, eventually gain citizenship and full-time jobs, but are unable to live comfortable lives due to mounting bills from Fuerte's constantly infected stub where his foot used to be. As they're discussing the future over a few glasses of orange soda, a newsflash brightens their screen: "Zangief reformed the Soviet Union and has fired the Omega Machine. In 30 seconds, he will effectively piledrive the Earth into the sun." THE END

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Friday
04Sep2009

My Superficial homepage – a browser confessional.

DateFriday, September 4, 2009 at 11:41AM

Every time someone asks to use my computer I get a little nervous. I want to say no, but my Midwestern programming desires the opposite. The internal struggle for verbal superiority causes me to unwittingly initiate a silent pause in the dialog. It’s an awkward, and quiet, social situation. Panicking, I typically dance around the question. “I uh…umm…am defragmenting my hard drive right now and no one can use it for another hour or so.” If he or she didn’t take the bait I’m forced to oblige with an answer. Word poo seeps out. “Grrrrrmmmmmf,” I say, or something similarly embarrassing. Somehow, I eventually communicate “no.”

Please don’t think of me as an inconsiderate villain. I have my reasons for acting so charmingly selfish. Some reasonable, some not.

Daily virus and adware scans keep my machine (almost) squeaky clean. I’m a careful Windows power user who scans for viruses every morning and researches every process in the task manager. Believe it or not, I find this type of regular maintenance enjoyableand fun. But others aren’t so careful. Who knows to what end an unsuspecting guest could damage my custom-built Frankenstein and its whirring gizmos? “Do they even know what not to click when browsing? Do they know the pop-up disguised as a virus scan isn’t actually a virus scan? Do they even know how to use multiple tabs?!” Instead of discovering the results to these questions, I employ the Gregory House theory that states “people are idiots” and allow nary a soul on my PC. I make a living using this hardware and a solid internet connection. I’m not letting anyone mess that up, even if it means revealing my geek elitism.

Read the rest of the article at IPR's Multimedia blog.

AuthorKyle Stallock | Comment2 Comments |
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Reader Comments (2)

I feel you, dawg. I'm the same way, except I care lees about looking like a dick. I just say "No, I don't let anyone use my shit; it's too important. Sorry"

...or something to that effect.

Kyle: Eddie, this is a side of you I've never seen before.

September 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEddie inzauto

I let people use my desktop if they ask, AND if it's turned on. If it's off, or on sleep, nope. No usage allowed.

But I don't let ANYONE use my laptop. Too much important stuff on there that I can't afford someone to fuck up by mistake. (Or by intentional meddling!)

September 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrendon

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