My Superficial homepage – a browser confessional.
Friday, September 4, 2009 at 11:41AM 
Every time someone asks to use my computer I get a little nervous. I want to say no, but my Midwestern programming desires the opposite. The internal struggle for verbal superiority causes me to unwittingly initiate a silent pause in the dialog. It’s an awkward, and quiet, social situation. Panicking, I typically dance around the question. “I uh…umm…am defragmenting my hard drive right now and no one can use it for another hour or so.” If he or she didn’t take the bait I’m forced to oblige with an answer. Word poo seeps out. “Grrrrrmmmmmf,” I say, or something similarly embarrassing. Somehow, I eventually communicate “no.”
Please don’t think of me as an inconsiderate villain. I have my reasons for acting so charmingly selfish. Some reasonable, some not.
Daily virus and adware scans keep my machine (almost) squeaky clean. I’m a careful Windows power user who scans for viruses every morning and researches every process in the task manager. Believe it or not, I find this type of regular maintenance enjoyableand fun. But others aren’t so careful. Who knows to what end an unsuspecting guest could damage my custom-built Frankenstein and its whirring gizmos? “Do they even know what not to click when browsing? Do they know the pop-up disguised as a virus scan isn’t actually a virus scan? Do they even know how to use multiple tabs?!” Instead of discovering the results to these questions, I employ the Gregory House theory that states “people are idiots” and allow nary a soul on my PC. I make a living using this hardware and a solid internet connection. I’m not letting anyone mess that up, even if it means revealing my geek elitism.
Read the rest of the article at IPR's Multimedia blog.
Reader Comments (2)
I feel you, dawg. I'm the same way, except I care lees about looking like a dick. I just say "No, I don't let anyone use my shit; it's too important. Sorry"
...or something to that effect.
Kyle: Eddie, this is a side of you I've never seen before.
I let people use my desktop if they ask, AND if it's turned on. If it's off, or on sleep, nope. No usage allowed.
But I don't let ANYONE use my laptop. Too much important stuff on there that I can't afford someone to fuck up by mistake. (Or by intentional meddling!)