"How to be a gamer completionist." OR "How to be a sad motherfucker who misses the fucking point."

Caught this piece of "GAMER LOL!" excrement while tagging an article for links.

"How to be a gamer completionist"

By Nyko
User-Submitted Article

"Completionist - The completionist is really an extension of a general video gaming type, the kind that enjoys unlockables and maximizing the play time of any individual game. The completionist wants to make his or her character - for lack of a better term - complete. This might involve mastering a variety of tradeskills (and, in WoW, getting all the recipes for a particular tradeskill), exploring the world and seeing all the zones, and completing armor sets or getting obscure items. They’re not as intense as powergamers because they tend to wander a little off the beaten track of character progression, and aren’t necessarily fixated on gear."

 Shit's a disaster from step one to the laundry list of materials ("chosen videogames, internet access, pen and paper), but here are a few highlights:

• "gather all necessary items in a convenient location to your ‘gamer nest’ This include your communication apparatus..."
• "Gamer Nest: the area in which includes your TV, console, all videogames you are working on, computer area (optional) and your seating arrangement (chair, floor) this area must not be invaded by unwelcome guests during which is your playing session"
  
  
• "Start your game fully alert."
• "Be sure to mention to people who bother you the most that you are playing a video game and do not wish to be bothered unless its an absolute emergency."
  
  
• "If bathroom facilities are not within easy reach and you plan on not traveling the extra time to get there, e sure to only consume items that will not go through your disgestive system within 1 hour or so."

I don't condone spousal abuse, but I really wish the author, Nyko, really went by the name Susan.